Doorways of Support
and Inspiration:
Healing
Mind, Body and Spirit
Succulent Creativity Can Heal Your Life, Part I:
A Two-Part
Interview with SARK by Alissa Lukara
SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) is the author and artist of eleven books,
including the best-selling, Succulent
Wild Woman. There are over two
million SARK books in print. She is an acclaimed speaker and teacher and has a
company, Camp SARK. Dr. Maya Angelou writes, "We in this world, and this weary
old world itself, have a great gaping need for SARK. Let's call for more and more SARK to fill every child's book bag and each
attaché case." Her latest book, Prosperity Pie: How
to Relax about Money and Everything Else, explores how we can be and feel prosperous no matter how much we have or don't have,
or what our outside circumstances and challenges may be. As in all her inspiring and imaginative books, SARK shares
her own process of exploring who she is and how she responds both to life’s
challenges and its kaleidoscope of pleasures.
Alissa Lukara recently interviewed
SARK about the power of creativity to heal one’s life, the importance of both progress
and regression, healing in spirals and more. You can read Part II of
this interview here.
ALISSA: I’ve
been studying the healing power of art and creativity. There are many
incredible programs being done in hospitals and elsewhere. You’re an amazing
example of that. You live your art and create art from your living.
SARK: Creativity healed me. I don’t
know that I could think of any word that I get more inspired by than the word
healing. Matching creativity with healing is the shortest version of describing
what my life’s work is. From my childhood, when I was being abused and
molested—the incest pattern started in my family when I was around seven—I was
healed by the creativity in books. My favorite spot was in the apple tree in
the backyard where I built this little reading station in the branches. I clambered
up there and had my books in a little carton. I had everything I needed to
escape into the pages. I was able to create a world that was completely
different than the one I was living in, which was full of fear and defense and
lies.
Then,
that expanded to the libraries. My first grade teacher said she would give an
award to anyone who was willing to read a book every day. I quickly applied for
that and became one of her best readers. Her name was Mrs. Gooler. I still
remember her. God bless her.
Right
around that time, I made the announcement in class that I should be the one to
do “show and tell” every day. My mother tried to explain that other students
needed to say things, too, but I said, “They’re not saying anything. I’m finding
all these things to share, so they should just let me do it.” This same wise teacher
arranged with the fifth grade teacher that I could present “show and tell”
daily to the fifth grade. I just loved it.
Healing with
creativity continued into adulthood. After a suicide attempt in my
mid-thirties, I was a creative procrastinator. I would start creative projects.
But I’d never complete things, so they could be shared with anyone else or I
could have a sense of being creatively active. After I started therapy, I
finally turned full speed toward my creative self and let it take over.
Turning Toward Creativity
ALISSA:
Was there anything that you can pinpoint as that turning point? Expressing
creativity is such a huge issue for people.
SARK: The alternatives were all so
dreadful. I’d come to an end point. I’d done all these jobs. I’d lived without
money. I’d been self destructive. The one thing I hadn’t tried was being
consistently creatively involved. It was kind of the last thing. I hadn’t ever
worked on my procrastination. I hadn’t studied it or practiced new ways. I knew
I did it, but I had no idea how to stop.
I plunged
into self-study, mostly reading and talking to people. I looked at
procrastination and money, which were both issues. I fashioned what I’d call
the University of Myself. I gained knowledge and practiced the ideas I found in
these books. I started getting quite wonderful results.
One thing
procrastinators do is rehearse in their minds. So in my mind, I kept seeing
that I wasn’t going to be creatively successful if I didn’t become well-known
somehow or if I wasn’t spending a significant amount of each day thoroughly
involved in creativity. It’s also what the inner critic does.
Making Micro-Movements
Literally,
I couldn’t make a move listening to the messages of the procrastinator or the inner
critic. So, I developed my system of Micromovements. I started having creative
movements in tiny ways. I’d write a paragraph in my journal in a day. But that
was more than I’d written ever. After a while, I started stacking. I noticed I
got to two pages in a day. Then, maybe I’d do two pages and do a drawing. As I
saw the evidence of my completion, I gained confidence. [Editor’s Note: SARK invented Micromovements
as a method of completing projects in time spans of 5 minutes or less. I
include a link to a pdf worksheet on SARK’s
Micromovements at the end of this interview.]
ALISSA:
It reminds me of when I had CFIDS and could only concentrate for 15 minutes at
a time. In the universe’s infinite wisdom, a woman appeared in my life who invited
me to be part of a writer’s group. Amazingly, they did 15 minute writing
exercises. That was my limit, so I said, “I can do that.” I was staggered by
what came out in 15 minutes. I got so turned on by just that
15 minutes.
SARK: Yes, once again, we don’t have
to take a three hour class nor do a three hour exercise. With regard to Micromovements,
I’m also reminded of what’s going on with my mother. She’s in a nursing home
and hasn’t been able to walk. What’s happening is a miracle. It began when the
physical therapy department of the nursing home dropped her, saying she’d make
no further progress. She was furious and said she thought she was.
We found
another team of physical therapists. These individuals had formed their company
in direct response to how Medicare doesn’t follow people during their actual
progress, but by an arbitrary rate of progress. I recently got the call that
she’ll be taking her first step soon. When we’re taking Micromovements, we have
to remember that there can be a different approach. Discovering that what
you’re trying doesn’t work doesn’t mean what you hope to accomplish isn’t going
to work. Look for another solution.
ALISSA:
In terms of creativity or a challenged place, many times people are so caught
in the challenge that they can’t see their way out of it or beyond it.
SARK: That’s really well said. Mainly,
we can’t see our way out. We’re not often given the vision to see beyond where
we are, especially in the darkest time. I believe this is the exact description
of faith. If we could see that we could get out of it, we wouldn’t be so scared.
ALISSA:
No, absolutely. It’s important to make Micromovements toward a goal, and it’s
important sometimes to be in that void space, too.
Progress and Regression
SARK: I always think of the quote by
Thomas Moore, who wrote Care of the Soul.
He said, “The soul needs regression as much as it needs progress.” We’re always
thinking about progress. “I’ll do this, and then I’ll get that.” But we need to
find out who we are when we’re flailing around, desperate, when our hair is
stuck to the side of our face and we’re having a tooth problem, when things are
falling down around us. Who are we then? We can’t always find out who we are by
progress. It doesn’t have the same lessons. The soil consistency is different.
ALISSA:
There’s an energy that can happen from letting go and being in that place.
SARK: Yes, just think of the energy of
rage.
ALISSA: That’s a lot of energy that doesn’t respond well to being contained or
controlled. You can’t just meditate it away without acknowledging it.
SARK: Did you enjoy the story of my
being vomited on?
ALISSA:
Yes. Particularly by a man in a tuxedo.
[Note: In
SARK’s July e-letter, she relates the
story of a dinner with her agents which took place after her Learning Annex workshop
in New
York City. She went down narrow stairs to the restaurant bathroom.
Before going up again, she had to wait until a man in a tuxedo on the stairwell
came down. The stairs were too narrow for both of them. Suddenly, she was
soaked. The man had vomited on her, and her eyes, hair and clothing were
dripping.]
SARK: Projectile vomiting from a floor
above is quite impressive. It was funnier, because from the event, I also had a
giant bouquet of flowers taller than my head and a giant purple bag so full of
participants’ gifts that I couldn’t close it. On top of that, the limousine
never came to pick me up. Unexpectedly, I had to take a cab and realized—after
I’d already left the restaurant—that I didn’t know the address of my hotel. It
was raining. The cab driver didn’t speak English and was impatient. When he
took me to where I thought the hotel was, it wasn’t. He screamed at me. I
screamed back and threw money over the seat. At 2 a.m., I was standing alone in the rain
with all these objects not knowing where I was. The point of all this is that we
have to find out who we are in those times, not just the times we’re supposedly
making progress.
ALISSA:
Who were you?
SARK: I was matching his energy. The
screaming felt liberating to my Midwestern nice girl self. It was fury, really.
ALISSA:
How did you get to the hotel?
SARK: I went into another one and the
people there helped me.
ALISSA: Would
you give some more examples of your life as healing and art—how you live that
now?
Taking Creative Challenges
SARK: It forms everything I do.
Anything I’m able to offer anyone else comes directly from my own experiences
of it. On a daily basis, I’m engaged in healing: physical healing, emotional
healing, psychic healing, spiritual healing. Being an
artist of life is even a larger practice than doing creative activities. Living
one’s live creatively—living my life creatively—is a marvelous challenge. An
interviewer for a women’s magazine asked me, “Even as well known as you are, do
you still need to practice?” I said, joking. “Oh no. I’m very evolved and there’s
no practice involved. I’ve reached a very high level.” I’m just amazed when
people still think that. What are they thinking? It makes me speechless. People
say, “Oh, you’ve done so much,” and I feel like I’ve barely started. There’s so
much more I want to do and be.
For
example, I speak to large groups of people. I enjoy it and have become quite
effective. When I do that, I now feel quite myself. But recently, I challenged myself
to something new: speed dating. I met 10 men for 10 minutes each. We sat in
folding chairs and talked. The point is I went to it. I was a basket case. The
correlation is I’d rather be going to speak to 500 people than to present
myself one on one as a possible romantic candidate.
I did it
specifically because of how scared I was. If I want to take violin lessons, I
don’t want to give up because I start out so incredibly incompetent that I
don’t know how to hold a violin. I continually creatively challenge myself and
look for places I’ve become stagnant without knowing it. For instance, I
realize that I feel new paintings coming, but I haven’t started them. That’s
okay. But I also remember that and let it come through.
ALISSA:
Let me focus this on your writing for a moment. You write so effectively about
your life path and healing on that path. I’ve actually been reading about the
healing power of writing. There was a study that found when people write about
challenges in a way that they’re connected to themselves and not just venting,
their immune systems improve.
SARK: I was clear that I wrote my
books to heal myself. It was a marvelous side effect that they help others. I
like to say to people, “Remember to delight yourself first, and then others can
be truly delighted.” To take that deeper--Remember to heal yourself first, and
then others can be truly healed. That’s the spirit with which people engage
with my books. They can tell that I’m doing the work on myself. I also admit
the times I’m not doing the work.
ALISSA:
Which is wonderful, because your humanity comes through.
SARK: It’s also permission. If SARK can admit she’s lying around
reading magazines and watching copious amounts of television and hiding from
her new painting, how helpful.
ALISSA:
Then there’s hope for other people, too.
SARK: Yes.
Healing Happens In Spirals
ALISSA: You
talk in your books about healing happening in spirals and layers. That’s
definitely my experience, too. The same issues spiral around. Sometimes, I’m
shocked. “What’s this doing here? I thought I dealt with it.” But I realize there’s
now a deeper level of healing required. Would you comment on that?
SARK: We always want healing to be a
ladder or steps. People write books that say “Eight steps to being healthier.” “Three
steps to health.” You can climb those steps, but I guarantee you’ll be climbing
them again. You don’t get to another level and never go back. Healing isn’t even
hierarchical from bottom to top. It’s far more interesting than that.
It’s why
people are drawn to walk the Labyrinth. You go around and around and reach the
center. Then you go around again. It’s a circular path. You go past things
you’ve dealt with before and see them on your way. Maybe you become fully
engaged with them again. The very circular and spiral nature of the walk is
challenging to the linear mind that wants progress.
We’re
always thinking progress is an advantage. In fact, it can be the exact opposite
of what our souls need. Once again, our souls need regression as much as they
need progress. I love Thomas Moore for saying that. We’re so indoctrinated that
progress is the way.
ALISSA:
We don’t even want to admit when we regress or that we’re not being productive.
SARK: People lie all the time. Just
take television. People continually lie about it. They say they only watch a
little bit and mostly public television—or the nature shows and the Discovery
Channel. They’re presenting an inner critic compilation of the appropriate
programming to watch. Or they go further and say, they never watch. TV’s a
waste. There are better things to do with your time. Simultaneously, they judge
others who watch too much TV and specifically, the wrong kind of TV. It’s
another subterfuge we undertake to hide our actual experience.
I
remember I was home alone sick one Thanksgiving weekend. I watched reruns of “Thirty-something”
or some other show. There was a marathon. I watched 38 episodes in a row. I
began living in it. I was so with these people that when they had their
Thanksgiving show, that was my Thanksgiving. I confessed what I did to a friend,
and to this day, the friend admits to
feeling so safe when I owned up to it, because this person had done similar
things and always felt really alone.
TV here
is just a metaphor for a lot of other things that people don’t tell the truth
about. Most of us have similar things. We have too many books we haven’t read.
Most of us feel guilty about the books we haven’t read. Most of us have
overflowing closets and procrastinate about ever having any order in them. On
and on. Why aren’t we just admitting these things, laughing about them and then
spending our energy elsewhere. There’s always going to be entropy and disorder
and lack of progress. That’s going to be a constant. We can use the energy
we’re spending trying to make progress in much more pleasurable pursuits or
other creative endeavors. I know that was a tangent, but I had to go on it.
ALISSA: It’s
an important one. We put ourselves in these rigid molds based on what we think
is socially acceptable or the right approach.
Encouragement to Do More Things
Badly
SARK: Please let’s invoke the spirit
of my friend Rebecca who died two years ago. She said, “Please tell people to
do more things badly.” For instance, meditation works even when you do it
badly. And that goes for everything else. Once again, most of us aren’t just
procrastinators, but we’re perfectionists, too. We don’t even try new things
because we might be any good at them. Guess what? It’s fun to take dance
lessons—even if you’re not good. Not everything you try may turn out to be fun,
but don’t futurize to stop yourself, because of your perfectionism.
ALISSA: I
loved when you wrote about taking a class in something you know you’re bad at
in one of your books. How that act is freeing.
SARK: Even my speed dating experience.
I was really bad at the preliminaries of that. I was a wreck. I was overfocused on my appearance and having trouble driving. I
was talking to myself. I’m a meticulous person, but when I got there, I filled
out all the forms and promptly lost my name tag. I don’t think it was an accident.
When I went to report the loss, the person said, “I’m sorry. We can’t replace
that.” I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t. He said if I’d lost it, I
couldn’t participate.
He told
me to talk to the organizer about whether or not he might do something. Fortunately,
he had found my name tag on the floor. But he said, “Don’t lose it again or you
can’t participate.” My perfectionist was going wild, saying I didn’t do the
right thing. It was funny. Then, I found out that I was much better at talking
to 10 people for 10 minutes each than I ever knew. I found out that in some
ways, I was more comfortable than the people I was talking to. The point is I’d
never know if I hadn’t tried.
ALISSA:
And you’d have all these projections about how it might have been, what might
have happened.
SARK: Of course, now I’m wondering
where the unusual, eccentric men are, and I want to find them. I didn’t say yes
to any of those men, which was rather alarming. It’s okay though. It’s given me
a new bravery.
ALISSA: That’s
great. I always think it’s important to put the energy out in the direction of
where you want to go. Maybe what you hope for won’t come from there, but from
somewhere else entirely. Doing what you did though is just like saying “yes” to the universe.
SARK: The universe sometimes says “maybe.”
ALISSA:
Or, a relationship comes in weird ways. I met my life partner, Jonah at a time
when I wasn’t even thinking about meeting anyone. I was open, but not looking.
I was focused on work. I was happy being single. During that time, I was moving
and went to look at a house to rent. It was Jonah’s house. He was living in the
middle of the desert. This wasn’t the time I thought I’d meet the man I’d marry.
But I had been doing the work on myself that prepared me to have a good
relationship. I knew what I was looking for in a partner.
SARK: I love it.
[Editor’s
note: Subsequently, SARK reports in her August 2002 e-letter that even though the speed dating
didn’t result in a date, she told a friend she wished a “juicy man” would just
show up at her house. Three days later, serendipitously, one did, and they went
out.]
© Alissa
Lukara 2002
PART II,
a continuation of Alissa Lukara’s interview with SARK, deals with acceptance of what
is, surrender, struggle and joy, change, self-care and integrating the lessons
challenges bring. You can read Part II here.
Download
a pdf worksheet on SARK’s system of Micromovements
described in the interview here.
SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) is
the author and artist of eleven books, including the bestseller, Succulent Wild Woman. There are over two
million SARK books in print. Her latest is Prosperity
Pie. SARK is an acclaimed speaker and teacher, and was featured in the PBS series,
"Women of Wisdom and Power," as well as a documentary film titled,
"The World According to SARK." She is a periodic guest
on National Public Radio, and her own "Inspiration Line" has been
inspiring people for ten years at 415-546-3742. Her company, Camp SARK produces products to inspire
creative living. Camp SARK has also distributed
"Creative Tool Kits" to teachers across the country. SARK was born in Minneapolis and her first (and favorite) job
was as Wake-Up Fairy in kindergarten. She studied at the Minneapolis Art
Institute, University of Tampa and the University of Minnesota before graduating from the School of Communication Arts in radio/TV production. SARK is a recovering
procrastinator/perfectionist who practices what she teaches, and lives in a
Magic Cottage in San Francisco, California with her "Fur Husband"
cat, Jupiter. For more information, go to the Camp SARK
website.
Alissa M. Lukara is
president and originator of the Life Challenges website. She has also just
completed a memoir of her personal healing journey, entitled Riding the
Grace. She speaks to groups, drawing on her personal healing experiences
and the lessons she learned from them. Mostly, she considers herself a life
artist, co-creating with The Great Mystery the various ups, downs, ins and outs
of her glorious beloved life. Sometimes, she even reaches that ultimate place
where she can let go of all the doing and labeling stuff, and then, she simply
is. Contact Alissa at alissal@lifechallenges.org.